well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
two words: eviction party
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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