just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
