i just had sex bonerless
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
