I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
