may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
