last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize