hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
