So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize