He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
