Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?

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(512): View more from Texas

my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??

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(678): View more from Georgia

I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you

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(225): View more from Louisiana

True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us

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(509): View more from Washington

My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.

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(+88): View more from

I swear the crows are laughing at me.

(1+88): View more from

You my friend are stoned into submission

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(613): View more from Ontario

is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?

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(970): View more from Colorado

I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.

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