I want to make a zoo with you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
