The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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