Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
