I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
