help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
