I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
