I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
