weddingsv make me drug and hornr
barbara walters just said penis...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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