i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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