i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
whose parrot is this?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
