Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
