after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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