i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
