If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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