I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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