their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
