also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
