My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
