quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
