So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
