people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
