From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
