sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
