So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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