oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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