oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
