I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
