Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
