are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
