Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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