she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
