So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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