a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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