Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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