maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
