Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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