How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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