I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
