I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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