And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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