having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize