Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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