Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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