Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Im part way to drunk.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
