So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
