you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
