her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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