My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
