I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
