I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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