Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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