also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
