i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
